Promise of new beginning

I had this feeling for sometime now. Why would not I ? after returning from 3 months leave, the office was already full of new and new, yet old faces. It's surprises me thou to see the later because, those people have left the company for sometime and then go back with a continuous length of service. Oh well, where can you find such favor? anyway, I'm pretty sure they do know exactly what they're doing.

I do loved my job, there's no question about that. But with the recent changes of leadership, plus my health being compromised made me to consider resigning after a month. I do understand the employment risk of expats here in Taiwan. In a span of one month, hundreds of Filipino's where laid-off and sent home. Rules also become stringent in the company, say for example: once there's customer complain and mis-operation, the fault person will be automatically terminated. No negotiation, period and this rule applies to either local or foreign.

Despite the uncertain economy, thought of resigning made me think a lot. Perhaps the reason why I'm feeling low these past few weeks. Yet, decision has to be made. So, when I had the chance to talk to my manager, I boldly told him to lay-me off or transfer me to another team rather than suffer more misery later on with my leader. Mind you leader was my close friends before she got promoted, but started to complain favors I got from manager. Indeed, I was blessed to have higher favors.

Manager was good enough allowing my transfer and say good things about me. Why will I knew? he blind copy me on all e-mails sent to dept heads. He said, he can't afford to loose me, but only this crucial timing that need the transfer. Each time I saw it, I can't help not to shed tears. And though I'm trying to hold on for my love with my job, at the back of it, I knew staying isn't the answer.

I am about to go home for Christmas holidays using my 2 weeks force leave. But when I get my ticket yesterday, the HR personnel asked me to go to the meeting room. Oh boy, this must be something really serious, I said to myself. That's it, everything was settled there. I took my stuff back to office accompanied by a security. And thou I have prepared myself should matters gets worse, once you're there, it isn't enough. The blow of events strike me like a knife. I don't know how many hours I cried. What I knew is that my head kills me in pain and weigh so heavy that made me throw up. So once again, I was back to the hospital.

I rush to the clinic or hospital by myself most of the time. But tonight it's different, I have a christian companion with me. The fellowship was an encouragement and a reminder of my situation compared with other people. Certainly, if I will look on deeper, I have more things to be grateful for.

So, when I wake up this morning, I'm not hurrying for work anymore. The good night sleep last night was surprising. It enabled replenishment of God's promises for the new direction I'm going to face. Yes, I am jobless now, but I do believe His preparing better things for me than I had planned for myself. That all these things are connected with one another in order to meet God's ultimate plan for my life. You see, if I resigned earlier I will not get an SLP, it's not much, but it's a good start. Plus my papers update for immigration came-up timely. So what can I ask more, what can I complain in this situation. Nothing I supposed, but to give thanks to God and rejoice!

P.S. This blog will be in hiatus for a while...but I'm still here, talking... @_@

Greeting you in advance.....

A blessed Christmas and a Prosperous New Year

Atypical Monday

It's atypical Monday for work today...hmm, it might be only me as colleagues seems to be in some sort of discussion or pretending to be busy in hitting their laptops keys. Well I think I had fairly done my share for today's need-to-do list and am sure, each one of us had their styles spending those not so very busy days right. Plus, we're still entitled to take break once in a while. So, spare me, I'm not being defensive OK....hahaha

And so, while waiting for the time signaling it's done for today, I browse on my archive mails and found this forwarded mail which made me almost fell out of my chair. It's funny, that I would like to share it with you guys. So enjoy a loud belly laugh as it takes years off your face and does surely makes you fabulous when you laugh.

Have a nice day ahead everyone!

=========================================================

There are 4 gents who go out to play golf one sunny morning. One is detained in the clubhouse, and the other three are discussing their children while walking to the first tee.

"My son Kent," says one, "has made quite a name for himself in the home-building industry. He began as a carpenter, but now owns his own design and construction firm. He's so successful in fact, in the last year he was able to give a good friend a brand new home as a gift."

The second man, no to be out done, tells how his son began his career as a car salesman, but now owns a multi-line dealership. "Norm's so successful, in fact, in the last six months he gave his friend two brand new cars as a gift."

The third man's son, Greg, has worked his way up through a stock brokerage, and in the last few weeks has given a good friend a large stock portfolio as a gift.

As the fourth man arrives at the tee, another tells him that they have been discussing their progeny and asks what line his son is in.

"To tell the truth, I'm not very pleased with how my son turned out," he replies. "For 15 years, Chico's been a hairdresser, and I've just recently discovered he's gay. However, on the bright side, he must be good at what he does because his last three boyfriends have given him a brand new house, two cars, and a big pile of stock certificates."

Simplicity is beauty

Things aren't really going well recently and apparently, this mayhem has affected me more that expected. If there's something beneficial I see, is to often find myself wanting to post an entry. Perhaps as means to release tension, an escape from this roller coaster ride mix of emotion.

However, if that post would only mean to whine and groan, I would rather discard it. So, I choose to revert on positive thoughts and pray at the same time. Later, I also realized that it's really useless and tiring to feel down on something that is beyond my control. So, why waste this precious time!

While at office, I was able to do blog hopping and fortunate to come across a blog which really encourage me. Like a journal as it is, but what captured me most is the way he shared his beautiful photos. I was really shocked how beautiful the Philippines is. That blogger indeed savor every minute of the places his been with.

Not bragging, but I've been to several countries already and had taken remarkable photos that I could keep as memento of such travels. But what I learned from him is photography. It strike a chord on me to always take the shot on those times that it had taken my breath away, as simple as the sunset, the silhouette, a flower, oh and so much more, much much more. Simple right, my happiness is really simple you know.

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder"

PS. I hurriedly check the available photos on my computer. It may not be the best, but it's one of those moments, so glad that God created such beautiful sight for free.

Sunset at Chin Ching Lake, Taiwan

On time of crisis (Part2)

Who's paranoid? I guess it's a normal thing nowadays as everyone is asking the latest update of ones status quo. Just like tonight, I bumped into another Filipino folk at work and heard that there were Filipinos sent back home as of today. So, I hurriedly checked the news for authenticity to end up my speculations and here's what I got, courtesy of gmanews.tv

2nd batch of laid-off OFWs arrives from Taiwan
12/02/2008 09:06 PM

MANILA, Philippines — A second batch of overseas Filipino workers who lost their jobs in Taiwan arrived in the country Tuesday evening, a radio report said.

Radio dzBB's Lito Laparan reported that the second batch of 21 Filipinos arrived aboard Philippine Airlines flight PR-899 at the Ninoy Aquino International Airport.

This developed as Labor Secretary Marianito Roque admitted some 200 Filipino seamen working in a luxury liner had been laid off.

But Roque said it is not a cause for worry, as more Filipinos are still deployed abroad then those who lost their jobs.

Last Monday, militant labor group Migrante said at least 103 OFWs more were to return from Taiwan on Tuesday after being laid off due to the impact of the global financial crisis.

Migrante chairwoman Connie Regalado said the first batch included 82 OFWs while the second included 21.

Regalado said as of November 2007, 720 Filipinos in Taiwan have already lost their jobs after companies there were forced to close down or lay off workers due to the global financial crisis. - GMANews.TV

Appeasing as it seems and an optimistic lover like me, but dropping the word "anxiety" is kinda out of my list now. I've been in the same economic slump down 8 years ago, but this one is quite different. Technically speaking, it's alarming to see that almost everything is smashing down in the economy, accompanied with conflicts happening in other nations like India , Thailand, including Taiwan. Oh yeah, their ex-president has been detained recently facing graft and corruption charges. And from latest news, his on hunger strike behind bars.

With this turn of events, our tendency is to dwell on the problem and not into solution. And so far the effect on me is not wanting to move at all. I became unsure of the challenges I'm facing ahead and I don't like this feeling. If there's only a pause button in this race of life, I have pushed it long time ago. Anyway, it's still a long way to go and how I really wish that it will be resolved soon, as in real soon. And hoping there's be no more tension adderr. I may have been looking on things it differently, was it because of PMS...oh oh, blame it to PMS? toink!!!

On times of crisis

Everyone heeds and trying to keep composure as the verdict will come out in just a matter of days. News circulating around says that 10% of the current workforce will be cut-off from both direct and indirect labor. And that would mean adding 1000 more jobless people in this sadly to say rapidly depleting world.

With the advantage of seeing everyone working at their best efforts, it still fretting going to work and later found out that you'll never come back the next day right. I actually don't believe that the weakest link are mostly expected to be sent off. What about those people who pledge their loyalty and service to the company, will it just end up in vain and wait till the company goes into bankruptcy? as such, no one is indispensable, recession is at the threshold and shortly after will be opened.

Even me, I'm starting to prepare myself and deal issues related to this. But what I'm more concerned about are the OFW's who just came here. When they left home, everyone is hoping for a better future for their family. Most of them has payed large amount of processing fees, which was either taken from loan sharks or worse sold or used their hard earned possession as collateral. What about those? what will happen next?

It's really sad that in a situation like this, the ones affected most are the "little people". Last Friday night as I've waited my bus and work shift Filipinos pass me by, I don't know why I can't help not to stare on their eyes and feel sorry at the same time. I'm not sure what I'm thinking exactly, but I guess if there's only enough good job back home, maybe the pain won't be this much.

On the side, I will always be forever grateful to God for bringing me to Taiwan. I'm sure lots of expats will agree. For me, He has given the best years experience of my life and career. More than I could ever dreamed or imagined and amidst the situation, I believe His preparing the best things for everyone. Just like the bible says, when a door closes, He will open another window, and that window is from ceiling to floor.

On budget campaign

2 months ago, a former colleague of mine e-mailed me about their company's imposing force leave due to economic downturn. She inquired further of how are we doing so far, which I replied back as still stable. Our respective companies are basically the top competitors in this field and having said that, we're not into spying each other OK, but rather checking out latest updates in our lives.

But in just a matter of time, this global economic crisis has also started it's blow in our company. Effective last week, we're enforce of 1 day-off every week. Now it's 1 day, maybe 2 next month or 3, who knows...as economist predicts that this crisis will last until quarter 2 of next year. A total big loss for sure, but looking at the bright side, there's definitely a purpose and something that can be learned out of it.

So for my case, I started real budgeting and watch out my expenses. Actually, this statement is a big deal especially for a shopaholic like me ( I may misspelled it) and would like to believe that I'm succeeding to date. Anyway, everything is a work in process right. So, I'll do it one step at a time.

Say for example, today I went to Watson's to buy my toiletries. And in that area, several shopping stores are found which I usually go thru just like today. With the season changing and winter coming in, it's a norm to check the newest fad and those for sale summer clothes I've been eyeing. Oh my, the gorgeous dress is already 50% off, so I hurriedly fit it and was convince does looks good. But deep inside says it isn't practical and so I left without regrets after returning the dress on its rack. Yeah, no regrets because for sure it's much cheaper next month...ha ha

Another way to may I say budget campaign is to lessen eating outside. Just like today's stride is usually accomplish with me eating my favourite beef noodles. Well, apart from the toiletries, I also bought chocolote cookies for my craving, it's no yet dinner anyway. Hmm, wise buy I guess as I could also eat it during my snacks, yummy with milk.

Productive weekend

This weekend seems productive I think and maybe you might ask why.

Well, yesterday morning I was able to go to the wet market which I was planning for more than a month. Before with my housemates, we normally go there every payday, but since I started leaving alone, I became used to buy in the grocery. Of course groceries has higher prizes than the traditional ones, so I was really happy that I could save plus it's fresher I supposed.

What amazes me here in Taiwan is that in their wet markets, you could also do shopping at the same time. Yeah, it's a one time shop which has stores for clothes, bags, shoes and anything you'll want in much affordable prizes. How I wish I bought my camera with me for your visualization. Anyways, I'll try to do it next time. And since I'm on budget, I settled my eyes in looking and left after getting my needs. A record breaker of spending only an hour of buying.

My mother is really a good cook and I love to cook when I had time. The problem is, I didn't inherit her skills. So far, I only know 5 recipes which I alternately cook, and maybe it's only me who'll aprub the taste. Well, as long as it's edible right, ha ha...So I cooked nilagang baboy just enough for the whole days consumption.

And then in the afternoon, I was able to sweep and mop the floor. Finally, I could removed those accumulated dust. Can't remember when was the last time I mopped. And with just me, surely one afternoon isn't enough to clean everything. But at least, I did my best, so should be OK. One more thing, what about the laundry? well, skip this week and do it next week. Whew so tiring! can somebody send me a maid please!

I spent this morning till noon in the church and after checking progress of our activities for Christmas, I went home afterwards. So, I cooked broccoli with shrimp sufficient till dinner and then took a quick nap.

After waking-up, I could still feel my stomach full and so, I decided to jog in the university which is just in front of my apartment. Again, I forgot to bring the camera with me. I was downstairs when I realized it and so lazy to go back. I guess, my thoughts are also still flying at the time. Anyway, I was able to have 4 loops this time, twice as I had 2 weeks ago and I hope I'll improve next time. I missed jogging with sweats dripping my face and back and with the winter coming, I bet it'll be a lot of effort doing so.

The night is still young, much so in saying I'm not yet finish doing my chores. I ate my dinner and took break by watching television just enough to do the next task. So, while watching Dwayne Johnson's movie "The game plan", I was ironing clothes for this workweek. Well, it's the last one to finish and had a good time while watching it. And before I closed this post, I was reminded of Peyton's question to Joe which you'll know the answer if you've watched the movie. But the question is actually applicable to all, and made me also to ponder. So, what about you, " What is the best thing that ever happened to you?"

Remembering you dad on this day

Today is the last day of the month and by tomorrow, majority of the population will be celebrating "All Souls/Saints Day". A day specifically dedicated to commemorate our departed loved ones. But in Taiwan, it'll just be another ordinary weekend, as they celebrate such occasion on April which is known as Laudzong jie (Tomb Sweeping Day).

Such event will definitely make all cemeteries a very busy spot in the Philippines. The bustle should have started as early as last week and today, will surely be at it's peak. Good that my family has payed their visit last week except to that one special person we haven't been with for 6 years by this December. My father's grave...

He died of heart attack last December 22, 2002 in our province and we weren't on his side at the time. Normally my father went to Samar during Christmas to be with his relatives and be back before New Year to celebrate the coming year with us. I admired my father for such dedication to his clan. Breaking long distance to cover the gap was his expertise and much by getting along with people very well. I guess the reason why most of our relatives and former neighbours are very close to him. I still remember him asking me to prepare coffee during afternoon chats with his pals , oh his favourite drink apart from beer... :)

As a father, he was indeed strict and strong. There come a time that we grew-up far because of his discipline style, and despite the odds we didn't go into rebellion. Thinking out loud now, it's because we knew that at the back of everything, he is still a loving and a responsible father. We also thank God for giving us a wonderful mother as her love and comfort united our family to stand.

My eldest sister is his favourite, nevertheless I knew he cherish us no less. Mind you, I was his kikay daughter...haha...When I had late evening classes in college, they used to pick-up me up from school and when I'm already working, he drove me to the next station in order to save time and money. My salary then was just enough for basic needs. Then in the evening, they will pick me up. Such caring from both of my parents already made me a princess!

As soon as we can, the family headed to the province where my father's lays remained. Know what, it was also my first visit. He used to tell me before how beautiful it was and I totally agree, only that it's too late for him to hear. I haven't go back there since then, but it doesn't mean that I have forgotten him. His memories will always be with me wherever I'll go,not only this day but everyday. As simple as going to worl already reminisce me of my father and I'm sure his definitely proud of me, his kikay...

Breakthrough

God's favor is really awesome...I've posted last time about my added work tasks. Know what, after a week, re-assignment took place in our team and now, I'll just be focusing on my original accounts. God is so good, He's so so good.

This is what happened. We had account focus team which normally meets weekly. And so, part of the discussion was the progress of development projects phase-in to production. All of a sudden, the team champion asked me to provide my accounts activity list. Never really knew what happened after sending the mail to him, but that's how re-assignment trigger I believe. Mind you that his from another group. Then that's it, I'm back to my old routine.

I'm really so grateful with this set-up. I shall be able to focus now more plus it also allowed me not to stress out much. What really matter's most is to make use of this life worthwhile. Yeah, after the last experience, I become more cautious and yet I feel the symptoms time to time, I'm not frantic anymore, I'm already aware.

There are times when it's a real struggle, when I feel almost ready to give up. Nights and days crying out to God just to ease the pain. And His indeed faithful, day's that I called, " I'm living because of God's mercy and grace". A journey of spiritual growth I guess and God's answer to my long time prayer. Truly, it's only in our darkest time where will learn to surrender and said I can't do it anymore, please take control.

Have a nice weekend to all... :)

In working again

It's nearly 3 weeks after I came back and it appears to have that same smell of an old demanding career. Maybe more this time. Why? because apart from my original accounts, they added 3 more, plus 2 new released process by development team. WHAAAAA!!!! WHAAAAA!!! HELP!!! as if they don't know, my 3 months off was not for pleasure.

I had raised this concern to my leader and she said, it has been arranged. Meaning I don't have a choice but to follow. I see it thou as payback time and as much as I wanted to complain for the unfairness, I believe in due time everything will turn around. So for the meantime, I'll be still, keep my peace and have a positive attitude, because God is faithful and just, His promises will never fail.

I posted last time that I'm staying at the dormitory, but actually it didn't last as I transferred back to my old apartment after 3 days. Moving-out is not that easy, so I was having problem who can help me. But guess what, there's always helping hands when I need it at the time. At the same time, my landlord was so good having me back and so nice for re-installing the conveniences I had before. What a Blessing!!!

And so I'm back to what I'm used to everyday, only this time I don't have a housemate. So maybe spending extra time at work would be beneficial for exercise...talking and smiling...hehe...but need to watch the time not to miss my bus otherwise, it seems years of waiting...haha...imagine for another 45minutes. Got to go for now folks!

Back for a fresh new start

After a very long break, I'm finally back to Taiwan last Saturday. Supposedly, it should be the 1st week of the month, but something came-up which caused the delay. Since I gave-up my apartment, I had no choice than to stay in the dormitory which is actually the shelter of the many Filipinos working here. Although I knew the place and came for some personal matter, it will be my first to leave in the dormitory. So definitely I need to adapt and adjust.

My room is at the 3rd floor which I'll be sharing with a local who wasn't around when I came. Thought it was a good timing to roam around, scrutinize and get familiar with. After bringing and settling my stuff inside, it was the comfort room that I checked first. There were separate partitions for washing, bathing and toilets. The compound also has a net cafe shop, a convenient store, food house and a beauty salon. So, apart from the awful toilets, the place indeed caters to one's home temporarily.

My roommate arrived the next day and luckily she knows how to speak English...he he. We're from the same company and has been in the dormitory for 20 years. Yeah, read it right. So, does it mean our company is a nice and fair employer? well, I would settle for yes considering they had been so nice for allowing to have a lenghty break. It's like that I give birth...ha ha.

I went back to work Monday morning. And though I'm missing home, it made my heart warm to receive calls and welcome back mails for a beckoning start. Glad as well to have my work gadgets back and catch up the latest work happenings et al. Know what, things do happen the least we expect them. Imagine, I had no income when I was on leave, but hey the company gave profit sharing and other bonuses. Wowowow....it's almost I was payed all this time. Wow, what a blessing right :-)

And this is life...

How time flies, it's now the fourth month of the year and shortly will just realize that another year is going to end, looking forward for the new year.

This recent break has allowed me to contemplate again on things and ask questions which most of the time I don't know the answer. Thoughts about the recent disappointment, about life and happiness, living differently and doing other things instead. Thoughts that I hoped to be asked or shared with someone who do knows me, or much better if it's someone who knows me more that I knew myself. And how I wish Ann was here, if only she was here.....

14th floor at 4PM, that is our usual meeting place. The place where will have our afternoon coffee break and chat about our never ending issues at work, people that hurted or influenced us, places where we wanted to go, our individual dreams and plans, our life existence, our beliefs. And when there's nothing to talk about, we just sit there quietly while drinking our coffe and watching the magnificient sunset. And though I see the sunset daily, it's like there's always something to be watched for, the scene is really wonderful and lovely just to be contained in a day from that floor. But something came up which made her to decide leaving and do something which she believes is the best for her. With a very promising career and talent, her decision is a total big NO for some, but for me, that decision was quite admirable, for it takes a lot of courage to do so.

With none so near trusted friend, I find it difficult to open with the family. In a way, I don't want them to be so worried about me or maybe there's just really things about ourselves which we feel more comfortable talking with a friend than family, because friends can relate more to the situation. But then at the end of the day, I'm still thankful to have a family who is with me at this depressing moment in life and for a God who is not letting go of me who promised that everything will come to pass.

I also wanted to share this text message sent by a friend, " Even though friends can be a help, only JESUS can reach beyond our tears and touch the dip hurts of our hearts. His comfort can carry us through the struggles of are lives until that day wen GOD himself wipes away every tear from our eyes."

Should I or Should I Not

Many things happened these past months, things that can be given only to some, something which can be the ultimate fulfilment of a dream, one considered to be as life changing. But once you're there and it's just beyond your reach, something will happen where you'll say "let's pause this moment for a while", but at the same time your doubting to step back because you also don't want to miss the thing and just hoped and prayed that everything will turn out just fine. And then eventually, it will turn upside down, nearly to cause everything, left nothing but to ask, "What should I have done instead", " Did I push for something regrettable later on?, or "Was it a mistake?"...ah, all questions that I never knew the answers if I did it the other way around.

They have been asking me for a while, but I already said NO. They become persistent and asked me for the second time, and this time, the knock of opportunity is indeed appealing. Everything was arranged, settled, and by end of the month, I am scheduled to visit their headquarters for final assessment. I know something is wrong before the big day, reason that I took common medications to counter the symptoms. And when that day arrived, a feeling of hesitation is still there. But after seeing my suitcase, it landed my feet heading towards the door. While on the way to the airport, I closed my eyes and said to myself, " I can do this, it's not my first time, just relax, take it easy and see everything will be fine, you're here, this is it!"

The body do reacts on how you think, and that's what I did. All along, I fought hard between mind and body and kept thinking repeatedly that the pain will leave me if I'll refocus positively. It helped me in a way to survive and was able to enjoy my last night, until it triggered back on my actual departure. My rehearsals seem not working and this time, I panicked. Consciously that I'm still miles and miles away from home, I asked the flight attendants for medical assistance. They were really helpful and have explained to me that I need to stay for another day for the check-up and see if I can handle the long flight. It was a point where I got involved in a very tight situation, where past experiences cannot be compared to put into resolution, nevetheless, I need to make a decision either way.

I paused to think and pray, it maybe the first time where I prayed so hard for God's deliverance to endure a bit and to bring me home safely. I realized now, that when you're there, when there's nothing to hold on too, it's only between you and your faith that will bring you out from misery. And He was indeed merciful, the flight attendants had been so nice for treating me well too and I was able to find peace on that long journey. And so, upon my arrival, there's no wasted time but to go immediately on that place. Yes, I was hospitalized and have traces of it until this time.

Happy New Year!!!

Wow, my very first entry for 2008 after a long silence in this blogosphere world...hehe...and better late than never, would like to greet everyone a blessed New Year!


So, where am I and what's going on for the past month? oh! it's almost 2 months since my last post and that would give an impression that I'm lazy or just not a real blogger...ha ha. Hey, spare me, please be kind, I'm still an apprentice and really doing my best to write out of this busy (yeah) world.


And what am I supposed to write would be of course the highlights of my holiday season. Lucky me, I was able to spend it simply with family...yeah, I was again in the Philippines, good boss I have for this second time break of the year right...^&^



And there's really no place like home where I could just be myself. Nothing to worry or think about to much. No need to rush in the early morning for work where I can sleep or wake-up till my head hurts and just be lazy for the whole day. Where I can eat anything I like to my fullest and play with my niece&nephew till my stomach burst with laughter and same as them. It sometimes made me think then of going back to childhood where everything is simpler and funner. Ah! and the best is to ponder on things, talking anything whether it makes sense or what, just anything, to catch-up those missed time. And how time fies that I had nieces&nephews now which are on teen years, good though it means I'm getting old. They can start to accompany me as real friend or barkada. The whole 2 weeks was a real feast, not minding If I'm still on diet, whatever, I just wanted to eat, it's just so so good to eat...he he



Then we had this chance to pay a visit to Tagaytay which is an hour drive away from our place. It was chilly at the time, much colder I may say than my winter experience. So, we're really not prepared with jackets et al, just the same were able to put that big grin in the camera and attaching are some fun memory photos of that quick peek in this coldest side of Manila .