Random thoughts of leaving alone

It was already 4AM when my eyes got heavy and fell asleep. Knowing that I'll be a tug of war event getting me to work shortly, I decided to take the whole day-off as I also feel the urgency of this break in order for me to think things over. Can't settle later on and pretend everything is OK.

After calling my boss at 8:30AM to inform of such absence, I headed back to bed to get more sleep. Unfortunately, all of my senses are wide awake and so, I decided to start the day with no plans in mind. Thought that it's good...just letting it flow, or where ever my feet will bring me.

As I took my breakfast and looking in the house, I can't help not to feel sad. I'm leaving now all alone in a place so big for a single person. While pondering the reasons of not getting enough sleep, the thoughts of being alone or was the milk tea I drink late afternoon the day before flashed thru my mind. Oh boy, both of which are potential root causes, the last one is a sure item than can be avoided, but the first is something that needs fixing real soon...sabi nga nila dibah " No man is an island " . Although, friends are coming sometime for dinner & launch, having someone to live with is really different.

Working abroad is my first time to experience being away from my family. For some, going abroad, is a time of independence , but for most, it is a time to seek brighter pasture for one's love one. Although mine is the second, I really don't know if I can to stay long, just the thought of longing for the next couple of years is something unbearable, and now, as I look back, wow, it's already 4 years since then.

They say that the 1st three months are crucial, it's where you'll be homesick and everything, but honestly, I never felt that way and all I could say is that I have been blessed to lived with people which become my good friends and family.

Nothing is constant as defined and people move on overtime, some of this friends went home, while others are leaving in different parts of the country, keeping in touch once in a while. And so, this time, I considered as my very first time leaving alone in a foreign land. The truth and challenge I need to face valiantly...one that is easier said than done.