Good that my browser is now functioning properly and can key-in the title text field. So, this post is supposed to be the continuation of my previous post entitled "Times of Reflection", and as much as I wanted to write part2 there was a delay.
Life is really ain't easy, but I'm sure I'm not the only one that is having difficulty at the time. It maybe much more harder for other people.
So, the following days was a struggle of holding on and letting go. Setting my priorities straight has been a work in-process. It's like trying to meet east from the west, a total no no. But I got no choice, I have to change my perspective, otherwise it will eat me alive.
The discussion I had with my boss was an eye-opener and I hoped you could also get something from it. It was more than a 2 hrs discussion and truly you can't see yourself clearly unless from another peoples point of view. And this is what I've learned about me: He told me that I'm someone who does & tries everything to make the work polished. And because the supposed collaborative effort is not working, I put the pressure on myself and thus left me so frustrated because it's still not working.
Initially I don't know if I'll get upset or encourage hearing that criticism. But soon I bursted out my complains which I rarely do so to be honest. It's not my style to whine, if I can do it, I'll try and I will really try hard. So, don't tell me now as if it's my fault, hello, I'm already brain drained here coz of this issue, can't you see there is problem in our system that's why I need to do this & that...blah blah blah. I cried so hard and I don't care if it's right whining at the time, but I wanted him to know how I feel, how hard I'm pushing myself just to close this issue and tell you what a relief, refreshing afterwhich.
For a fast paced working environment such as mine, time is crucial especially this case I'm handling is our leading customer, which only means there are plenty of eyes on me. Theoretically, subordinates should always deliver a good job to their respective bosses and I may have overestimate this assumption, that I also raised high expectation. The fact that I'm a foreigner with define communication gap and quite different paradigm among locals are sure pressure adder.
So does it mean I'll just be lax and wait everything to fall on my lap, definitely not. But rather to extend my horizon of understanding that I can't expect things to appear just like how I want it to be. But the best I've learned is not to put that pressure or burden only on myself. I'm not saying that I could handle it now more wisely, but I'm sure I won't dwell on it just like before. In the first place I have put so much attention on it.
Neglecting the Bible's reminder: "Where your treasure is, there your heart as well". So this time, I will start to pay attention and use that time and energy to the things that are critical to my happiness which are: my loved ones, my dreams, my faith, doing things that I love, time for myself, mentoring others and taking care of my health. To be a good steward of the talents and blessing that God has entrusted to me. Afterall, where not working only for ourselves but for the One who has made us.
No comments:
Post a Comment