In loving

When someone asks, how are you today? normally, one would utter "I'm OK...I'm good" Actually, I always thought that it's always the case regardless the situation is. Meaning, one would expect an affirmative remark. And always been a pleasure response especially if it comes from the heart.

But when your in despair, say for example because of a broken relationship, when something hoped for didn't materialize as expected and seems like everything keeps falling out of place. These exact same words are just so hard, so so hard to exclaim, but yet, most likely, you'll still say, "I'm OK".

I'm writing this because the second one is what I'm going through right now. And most of the time when it rains, it keeps on pouring and it pours a bit hard. Especially if it's related to matters of the heart.

After a long time, I trusted once again to give a part of my heart. Was now ready to take chances wherever the tides brush through. To fight hard for something I thought was mine. Unfortunately, I lost him. He may have grown tired of waiting patiently, or perhaps of my immaturity.

I hoped that I'll bring smile to your face whenever I come across your mind, because me, when I think of you, I can't help not to smile. I missed our silly fights and you always being the one soothing it. When are we going to do it again?...I hoped that I was somehow of helped to you when your learning life, in which you already had that sound wisdom. I missed how you assure me that you'll always be there making me feel so important to you out of your so busy schedule. I missed the many lenghty conversations we had and discussing it together. I'm so used to you....what should I do now? how to move on?

It's very sad that we ended up this way and I regret that I wasn't able to tell you how much you really mean to me. The time your asking why I was so guarded is actually because I'm struggling with my feelings...that I'm falling, falling so deelpy. I regret that I wasn't able to tell you...na mahal na kita ( I love you already)...question you've kept on asking and answer that you've kept on waiting....Not sure if we'll still meet, I guess if it's meant to be, then only time can tell and God only knows when. Take care always AI.